This Ones for the Bunnies
by xplaypienobody13
Summary: Random stuff. Period. Character search changes once in a while, so ha ha you jawas from Yacktar 678!
1. Talents, sex, and death: How happy

Sora walked into the seaside shack where he found Riku. "Hey Riku, look what I can do!" Sora put his tongue into his nose, growled like a chimpanzee, and farted his A,B,Cs all at the same time. "What the hell is wrong with you?" shouted Riku. He ran out of the shack and hit his head against a poapu tree. "I should show Kairi this!" Sora left the shack and found Kairi in the secret place. "Kairi, guess what I can do!" "What?" Sora showed her his hidden talent and Kairi passed out. "Hey Sora, what's going on." Tidus said as he entered the cave. Sora pulled down his pants and farted in Tidus's face. Tidus immediately dropped dead on the floor. Sora then walked out of the cave and got hit in the head by a coconut.

"Ooh, flesh, lets eat him!" "Yah" Wakka and Selphie started eating Sora until Leon came. He pointed his gun at Wakka. "Wakka, you're Jamaican, I hate Jamaicans." He shot Wakka in the face. "And you Selphie, well, I just hate your face." He then shot Selphie in the face. "Wow Leon, thanks for saving me!" shouted Sora. "No problem kid, now get out of my face or I'll be hanging your face on the wall above my fireplace." Leon whistled and summoned a flying pig and got on and flew away until he got shot down by a terrorist gang led by the pure evil ruler, Vivi.

2 days later, Sora woke up in somebody else's room. He couldn't remember anything. He looked next to him and saw a blond haired girl. None of them were wearing clothes. The room was all white. "I slept with someone other than Kairi. I must be a slut!" He started to remember. He and Riku went to Disneyland for a vacation. They went on the ride "It's a small world after all" and fell into the water where they found a hidden bar. He and Riku had about 50 glasses of beer each and then got severely drunk. They then met 2 hot girls; one named Namine and the other named Aerith. Riku went with Aerith and Sora went with Namine. Namine, who never became drunk, used Soras' drunkenness to her advantage of having hot and brutal sex. They then stripped naked and the rest was blurry.

Sora got off the bed and saw Roxas tied to the table. Roxas was naked. "Hi Roxas!" "Why did you do that to me Sora, why?" Roxas' eyes were bloodshot and he had fear in his voice. Sora didn't want to start to think about what Roxas was doing here or what he meant. Sora was about to call Kairi on his cell phone, when Namine woke up. "Sora, why don't you come back to bed with me, I have a gift I want to give you." "No, I really think I should get back home." "No, You should come back to BED!" "No, I really should…" "Get into the DAMN bed, you slut!" "Okay, I'm comin'." Sora then crawled into the bed and got on top of Namine like she told him to.

"Where are we?" Mickey mouse, Donald duck, Goofy, Daisy duck, Minnie mouse, Jiminy cricket, Pluto, and Pete were in this weird room with blood stains on the wall. A voice could be heard from somewhere. "Hello, you people may not know who I am, but I sure as hell know who you are." "What do you want?" asked Minnie mouse. "I wanna play a game. You all are parts of new hit television shows- Survivor, Unan1mous, and Lost. You people will be aired on a survivor version of lost, which everyone will have to make an unanimous decision on who lives. Sounds like fun, right, well, enjoy." The room turned into an island.

Riku turned on the television and went to the channel FOX. "Now it is time for our season premiere of LOST: WITH DISNEY CHARACTERS." "I hate this show."

Namine was still forcing Sora to be a concubine. She also enjoyed watching Sora and Roxas Yoai. But after a month of being captured, Sora and Roxas finally knew how to be free. They took knives and stabbed themselves in areas so uncomfortable that I won't include what they were. They figured that if they couldn't have sex, Namine would set them free. But she was smarter than that. Since they couldn't have sex, they were of no use to her anymore so she threw them into the fiery pits of hell were they died of sunburn. She then captured a girl named Olette and took her as a concubine. For some strange reason though, Olette kind of liked it.

2 more days went by and everything came back to normal and everyone forgot what happened. "Hey Kairi, look at this porn movie I made, it's an anal film between me, Riku, and Roxas. Want to watch?" Kairi thought that he asked her if she wanted to watch The Lion King, so she said yes. Once the movie started, Kairi passed out from what she was seeing. "You like it, Yayyyy!" Sora then jumped out the window from the top floor of his house and landed on the sand where he was eaten by a hermit crab.

"Hm, we have survive on this island, this should be easy!" yelled Pete. Pete then spontaneously combusted. "What are the odds of another one of us dying? I mean, were safe, right?" asked Minnie. A shark then leapt out of the water, got hit by a boulder, the boulder got crushed by a foot, and the foot had a random heart attack. "Yeah, we're safe." Said Daisy. Daisy then got crushed by the Statue of Liberty. "Time for the National Anthem!" yelled Donald. "O say can you see, by the dawn's ear…." The island exploded.

Sora, Kairi, and Riku went to the book store. They were looking for Playboy magazines (requested by their parents) but they didn't know where to look. Sora asked the store clerk. "Ma'am, do you know where the playboy magazines are?" "How old are you, you know that those are intended for adults, right?" "I'm 15, woohoo!" "Ah, good enough. Here you go." Sora thanked her and walked to Riku and Kairi. "Here are your parent's porn, Yay!" "Woohoo." "Security, security, kids buying porn, get them." A guy with spiky, yellow hair and a big sword fell from the ceiling. "You guys are buying porn? Why didn't you ask me? I'm a sexy beast." He began to strip off his clothes. "Riku, Kairi, let's run." "No, you guys go ahead. I want to be punished for being bad." Kairi said as she had a smile on her face. Sora and Riku ran out of the store but blew up because their magazines were time bombs.

5 days passed and since they are idiots, they forgot about the past events that happened. "Let's have a farting contest!" yelled Sora. "Yeah!" yelled Riku and Kairi together. "Winner get's to share a poapu fruit with someone." said Riku "Yeah!" Riku went first. His fart lasted for 12.8 seconds, but wasn't that loud or smelly. Kairi went second. When she farted, she killed Tidus who was just walking, minding his own business, Tidus's body knocked into Sora causing him to fall and drown in the ocean, and then their bodies exploded by a bomb sent by the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Since the fart was better than Riku's and Sora died, Kairi won the poapu fruit. She shared it with a rock and started making out with it and telling it that she loved it. When she started stripping off her clothes for it, Riku decided he seen enough and he killed himself by stabbing himself with a coconut. It took at least 5 hours for it to kill him when it was jammed in his stomach which made him feel extreme pain.

2 days passed and Kairi and the rock had kids and decided to get married. But then rock left Kairi for a woman named Yuffie. They then had 5 kids and were inseperatable until rock met a hotter woman. Kairi decided to go to the beach but blew up by a land mine.

Sora, Kairi, and Wakka went to an opera.( Riku died of constipation and Wakka threatened to do something to Sora that Kairi would not like if they didn't bring him.) "Welcome to The Hobo of the Opera." The show will never start because you will all be slaughtered by the fat guy in the corner. "Hi Pence!" shouted Sora. It was Pence, but it seemed like he had too much sea-salt ice-cream. Pence jumped up, ate everyone besides Sora and Kairi, and then farted to death. The poisonous gas reached Sora and Kairi and they made out with each other until they were eaten by a mutant squirrel.

"I'm hungry." "I don't care." "I'm hungry." "Shut up." "I'm hungry" "Let me freaking draw this damn picture and SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I TAKE AWAY YOUR FREAKING HEAD WITH THIS COLORED PENCIL!" "Waah! Namine doesn't like me!" Roxas burst into tears and jumped out of the window. He must've forgotten that they were on the 13 floor of Castle Oblivion. "Damn, who will I have sex with now?" "There's always me." Said Marluxia. "Oh well, sure!"

Axel and Demyx were riding a bus to Detroit, Michigan. "The Yankees are gonna win!" shouted Demyx. "Demyx, were going to see a freaking football game. Wait, what are you doing back here. Aren't you supposed to be driving?" "Oh yeah." There was an awkward silence. Finally the bus drove off of the Grand Canyon. "How'd we get here?" Axel yelled in confusion. "This is all your fault Axel." "How is this my fault?" "Because you're stupid and gay!" "No, you are!" "How could you say that to your only friend?" "You're not my friend, I hate you!

Sora ate pumpkin pie one day. Then he ordered Chinese food, but it was poisonous, which killed him. Riku, Kairi, Roxas, Namine, Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie went to the funeral. They were going to bury him in the toilet. "Who should speak first?" asked Namine. "I will! Shouted Riku. Sora was a good friend, yes, a very good friend. I really enjoyed making that porn movie with him with us as the porn stars. Don't you agree, Roxas?" Namine and Kairi both looked at Riku, then at Roxas. "Uh, got to go!" shouted Roxas. He ran into the ocean but remembered he couldn't swim and drowned. "Okay…. Who speaks next?" asked Kairi. Wakka raised his hand. "When can I eat ya mon?" "What?" Kairi yelled. Wakka and Selphie jumped into the air and chewed up Kairi like the cannibals they were. The gory site that Riku was looking at made him blast a full force fart which brutally killed Tidus. Wakka then farted in Riku's face to stun him and Selphie jumped in to make the kill. "I'm getting out of here." Said Namine. She was about to take a flying pig but Leon came and turned her gothic. She then cast Hellfire on Leon and he turned to a girl.

Hell broke loose like this for 1 minute until the universe blew up. Then captain Jack Sparrow created a new universe full of pirate hippies and ruled until the ants turned against the world and slaughtered everyone.

HAPPY END! THE END?


	2. Ha ha What?

"I've been having these weird dreams lately, like why the pizza man never came and what the groans and moans in my parents' room really mean. Like is any of this for real, or not?" Unfortunately, Riku came and shot Sora in the face claiming that he 'smacked his bitch up' so Sora never found out the answers.

"I'm hungry." "I know" "Ok………..I'm hungry!"

Sora was walking down the street one day and was having fun until he got hit by an 18 wheeler. Everyone was sad for 4 minutes but then forgot about him and played Monopoly. Riku beat Kairi, Namine, Roxas, and a hobo they found down the street. Namine wanted revenge so she drew Riku without a nose. Fortunately, her drawing looked more like Roxas and his nose came off. "Ahh, I can't breath, Ahh!" Roxas dropped dead on the floor and landed on Kairi. Kairi called him a pervert and tossed his body off of her. His body flung out of the window and landed in front of Tidus. It confused him but before he got to touch it, Wakka and Selphie came to eat the body. They thought Tidus was going to take their lunch so they both pulled down their pants and farted at him in unison. He exploded and destroyed Kairi's house. Kairi watched in horror as the town was engulfed in flames. She stabbed herself with the Monopoly game board and crushed the hobo eating a sandwich. "Riku was confused as hell at what just happened. Everyone besides Namine and him died. "Oh well." Said Namine and then she jumped out of the building into the streets and flames below. Riku was the only one left. He ripped off his and Kairi's clothes and had some live on dead action until he got shot by scavenging Jawas.

Organization X were going to do the impossible. They were going to be the first nobodies to climb Mt. Everest. But they would soon or never know that some things are really impossible. "Charge!" yelled Xemnas. (It was Organization X because Axel, Demyx, and Roxas weren't there.) "I got a splinter… waah!" cried Marluxia. "Watch out Marluxia!" "Ahhhh!" Marluxia got hit by a snowflake and fell to his death. "Noooo!" Vexen got stabbed by a twig and also fell to his demise. "Should we turn back?" "No Saix, we can do this, we can, Woohoo!" "I'm king of the world!" yelled Zexion as he stood on the tip of a ledge. "I'm still king of the…ahh!" Zexion fell and was no more. "Forget them, keep moving men!" Shouted Xemnas. (Organization VII now)

"Kairi guess what!" "What?" "I just had sex with women hotter than you." "WHAT!" Kairi slapped Sora across the face. "Who are they then?" "Okay ladies, you can come out." The first one was a ninja named Yuffie. The second was a girl named Olette. And there were many others. There was Aerith, Tifa, Maj, Namine, Yuna, Rikku, Paine, and Selphie. "They all have one thing in common, they're all hotter than you, unless you're in a bikini or your school outfit, then you win." Kairi punched Sora in the face and talked to them. "Selphie, why the hell?" "He offered me his ear, I couldn't refuse." "Hey, you know, only 1 of you can have Sora, you can't share." All the girls agreed and decided to fight Mortal Kombat style. Aerith bit Rikku's head, Olette kissed Yuffie on the lips to distract her and then attacked to make the kill, Namine drew Yuna and Paine making out which caused them to explode, and Selphie ate anyone in her way. Riku, who happened to just be walking by, watched the fight which filled him with happiness. It was so hot to him. But his enjoyment was cut short when he got killed by a rampaging watermelon. At the end of the fight, everyone blew up and Kairi was about to take Sora for her own when she learned that it wasn't him. "Hey you're not Sora!" "Sora, of course not, I'm captain Jack Sparrow. He then went into his pirate ship and brutally crushed Kairi.

"Hey were alive!" shouted Donald. They were in an airplane now. "Yeah we all lived except for Pluto. Oh well, live and let die." Said Mickey. "I'm invincible!" Shouted Goofy. A window of the airplane broke and Goofy was sucked through the small thing which killed him.

Kairi heard the phone ringing so she picked it up. "Hello?" "Are you the only one in the house?" "Riku, is that you, yes, I'm alone, and yes, I would happily have a three-some with you and Sora if that's what you want." The phone hung up so she did too. It then rang again. "Hello?" "What's your favorite scary movie?" "Hm, I think that would have to be The Lion King." "What the hell, that's a kid's movie made by Disney, never mind." "Why do you ask?" "Answer the questions I'm going to give you. If not, I'll DO him and you." "Who?" "Uh, your friend with the gray hair." "Old man Billybobby, the World of Warcraft fanatic?" "NO! Just look out the window." Kairi looked out the window and saw Riku tied up to a chair with tape over his mouth. She waved. "Is this some set up for a porn movie, cause it's hot!" "First question: Who killed Mufasa?" "Uh, Freddy Krueger?" "What the hell? NO! Next question. Who was the killer in Friday the 13th?" "Uh, Jason." "No! It was his mother in the first one. Third question, what is the circumference of pie?" "I don't know!" "Wrong, it's 3.14 you slut! At least it should be. Last question. Remember what happens if you lose. What year was the Disney movie Peter Pan made?" "Uh, 1993?" "No! It was made in 1953!" "1953? Disney was around that time?" "Yes you freakin' asshole!" "At least my asshole looks better than yours." "Hm, you got a point there. Oh well." Kairi looked out the window and saw a guy in a mask and a black cloak having sex with Riku. The guy in the mask ran when he saw Kairi. "Hi, Riku, how's it going?" "It hurt so much, it hurt, but it felt so good!" Riku then dropped dead. "I guess no three-some then." Kairi looked behind her and saw the guy in the mask standing there. "Hi there!" she said. "Aren't you gonna run?" "Hm, nope!" "Oh well, easier for me to rape you." He then knocked Kairi out and dragged her to the closet.

"In you and I, there's a new man.

Angels on diet.

(Wonk uoy naht snoitcerruser erom deen I)

My obituary, my obituary, yeah

Where beers and pies, melt away.

Bury inside

What's left of me, what's left of me, now…"

"Demyx, shut the HELL UP!" "But that's my favorite song to sing." "Those weren't even the right words!" "Oh…….. This is awkward… Wait, how long have we been falling?" "Probably for 12 hours." "How long does it take to fall off the Grand Canyon in a bus?" "Who cares when we have playboy." "Yeah, Axel, I have something to tell you." "What?" "I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU!" Demyx then kissed Axel on the lips. "Get the hell off me you freaking sicko!" Axel shouted as he pushed Demyx away.

"I like SOUP!" "I like more." Sora and Roxas were yelling gibberish at each other, and they had bad grammar. "Well I have a keyblade." "Well, I have a keyblade down my baggy pants!" Kairi walked by. "Hi guys, what ya talkin' 'bout?" "Hey Kairi, can I stick my keyblade up your keyhole? asked Roxas. "WHAT YOU SAY?" She punched Roxas in the face. "YOU'RE A FREAKING PERVERTED SICKO! YA' KNOW THAT?" She then farted in Roxas' and Soras' faces. "Hi Kairi, how's it goin'?" asked Tidus. She farted in his face and his corpse was eaten by a moogle's pompom. Kairi then became a prostitute and after each time she had sex, she farted in her partner's face which murdered them. She continued her life like this for 2 minutes until she got eaten by her own pink panties cause she never wore them anymore.

"What do we do?" asked Minnie. "I don't know, but let's have smoothies!" shouted Mickey. The Disney characters then took out beers and liquors and got drunk. "The applesauce is purple…… when once I were wittle bug, momma ate me flesh and purple is pwetty!" said a drunk Jiminy Cricket. He then pressed the emergency evacuation button and he shot out of the plane and was about to fall to his death but he was eaten by snarklebeasts and wildebeests, got crapped out, got abducted by Martians, received an anal probing, and blew up by extreme flatulence.

"Can anyone stop me?" shouted Cloud. Fortunately, Sephiroth was in the area and heard Cloud so he decided to brutally slaughter him. Sephiroth then became the king of the shoopuffs.

Sora, Riku, and Kairi were sitting on their favorite log. "Do you think things will ever change?" asked Kairi. "Nope." Said Riku. Sora, who was a mutant tree frog of the sea, let out a huge growling noise and ate Riku's shoulder. "Blahglobhingerjibbyingerblaghtergkingbder!" shouted Sora as Riku bled to death. "Good, Sora, don't ever change." Kairi then ran to the seaside shack but was eaten by a badly drawn circle. "That's what ya' call a true circle of life!" said Leon before he was engulfed by Jack Skellington.

It had been a week since Sora was buried in the toilet. Riku was eating when he was about to get poisoned by bird flu if he ate the rest. He gave the food to Kairi so she would die, but she gave the food to her dog. Meanwhile, Roxas rented the video The Chaingun of Memories. He turned it on but instead of seeing a rip-off of Sora's adventures in Castle Oblivion, he saw a video that started by showing a ring and then random videos. When it was over, the phone rang so he picked it up. "Seven days." Said the voice on the phone. "What's in seven days, the carnival? I love popcorn." "Uh, no, death." "Who dies, no, not my pet gerbil, Philip, please, take Namine instead. "Ya' know what, I change my mind, seven seconds!" The TV screen turned to static and then a well appeared. "Hm, I saw this show before, boring." A girl came out of the well, came out of the television, and killed Roxas.

Roxas' funeral took place a day later. "Kill me, whatever lies beyond this morning, I don't care from now on. Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all, I'm already dead……When you die away, you don't hear me say, 'damn, oh baby, you're dead.' Simple and dead is the way that you're making me feel tonight, you already let go!" sang Namine, Kairi, and Tidus in unison. "Hey, who should mourn Roxas first?" asked Riku. "Let's forget about Roxas and have a farting contest!" shouted Kairi. "Oh, I'm getting out of here." said Tidus as he took a flying pig to escape." Hey that's my pig!" shouted Leon as he farted at Tidus. Tidus' corpse fell to the ground and blew up the world. Riku was the only one left. He was hanging on to the last piece there was of Earth, about to fall into hell. "HELP ME!" shouted Riku at the top of his lungs.

WILL RIKU HANG ON? WILL ANYONE HELP HIM? WHAT IS THE EVIL MASTER VIVI PLANNING? FIND OUT THESE ANSWERS NEVER IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.

The end……………………………. Maybe………….and is the applesauce really purple?

R&R before the badly drawn squares get me. They're coming closer…


	3. Castle Oblivion is Hell

This One's for the Bunnies presents-

**THE ALL ORGANIZATION XIII CHAPTER! PART ONE**

Characters- Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, Roxas, Namine, Olette, Fuu, Usjintx, Akrdx, Stickyx, Mr. Frosty, Old man Jenkins# 5064, Vivi, Seifer, Rai, Crian, Rapper Sora, Gay Riku, Horny Kairi, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, White Room, Snarkle, Naminoy, Roxies, Drunk Snarklebeast, Cool drunk snarklebeast, Donut Snarklebeast, Pence, Hayner, Yuffie, Aerith, other horny chicks in Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy, xplaynamine13, Inuyasha-Xtreme, Maj, and others. Contains brief lemons and large Yaoi, Yuri, and mature content for some characters, so you have been warned, or have you? Comes in later paragraphs and next chapter.

**DISCLAIMER-** I DON'T OWN ANYTHING ECCEPT USJINTX, AKRDX, OLD MAN JENKINS#5064, CRIAN, SNARKLEBEASTS, NAMINOY, ROXIES, STICKYX, MAJ, AND OTHER PEOPLE LIKE PIEMONSTERS.

Saix and Demyx were eating pizza under the tree that never was. "Hey Siax, do you know what cheese is made out of?" "Uh, no, I don't. How about we find out!" "Yeah!" Demyx and Saix then started their never-ending quest to find out what cheese is made out of.

**MEANWHILE IN CHAIN OF MEMORIES……**

"What should we do about this Sora kid?" asked Axel. Everyone thought for a moment. "I know, I shall go and fight him!" shouted Larxene. All of a sudden, an explosion came and Axel appeared. "Wait, why are there two Axels?" asked Vexen. "I'm here to warn you about Sora. He's going to kill most of you today, unless you trap him. Here's what you do. Vexen, you will fight him, and he will kill you." "Why me?" "Cause no one likes you! Anyways, Larxene, get a big boulder and place it over Sora. Then you drop it and boom, no more Sora!" "Wait, won't that ruin the plan of opening Kingdom Hearts?" "I think Roxas would be glad to help us, but we won't help Xemnas, cause he made fun of my pony, Steve. Now go!" Everyone got into position. Vexen appeared in front of Sora and fought him. Sora was losing, but he knew Vexen's weakness. He froze time, went on E-bay, bought one of Axel's Chakrams, and then unfroze time. He then stabbed Vexen in the back, which killed him. "Bah HUMBUG!" shouted Vexen as he disappeared. "That's the power of the keyblade down in my pants!" shouted Sora. He was then crushed by a boulder. All the nobodies in Castle Oblivion then had a karaoke party, though the songs were not karaoke.

"The winner takes all. It's the thrill of one more kill. The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will!

Don't ever look back, on the winds closing in. The only attack were their wings on the wind, oh the daydream begins.

And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, and it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight. And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, and the world is ours to follow.

Sweet, sweet, sweet victory!"

The nobodies then took out wine and started drinking. Little did they know, this party would lead to hellish consequences.

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**THE LIVES OF ORGANIZATION XIII.**

**_DAY 1- NOBODIES HAVE MORE FUN!_**

Vexen was playing go fish with his inanimate friend, Mr. Frosty. It was a fine day until the doorbell to Castle Oblivion rang. "I'll get it!" sang Marluxia. He opened the door and saw a stick figure. "Hi, my name's Stickyx, can I join the Organization?" he asked. "Uh, sure, I'll call Xemnas and find out, but he's still pissed that we were going to overthrow him, he made me let him and the other members to get rooms. Someday my flower monkeys will cut his throat, infect his penis, rip out his eyes, and send him back to the depths OF HADES FROM WHENCE HE CAME!" "Sure, zou do that, can I have a room now?" asked Stickyx. "What does Zou mean?" "Stick figures can't pronounce the letter Y if it's at the beginning of a word that has two or more letters." "Fine, I'll create a 14th floor." Marluxia snapped his fingers, a 14th floor was created, and he called Xemnas' cell phone. Stickyx ran upstairs. He stopped at the room on the 13th floor. It was all white. "What ya' doin' here sucka?" he heard a squeaky voice ask. He realized the white room was talking to him. "Hello?" "What ya' doin' here? This is a girl's room. Oh, I get it, you're here to raid her panties, NICE!" "Aah!" screamed Stickyx as he ran to his room. He sat on the bed and took out a Nintendo DS. He opened it, pressed the power button, it turned into a suitcase, and he took out an Inuyasha DVD. He pressed Inuyasha's nose and numbers appeared. He then called someone. "Boss, I'm in." he said. "Good, now get those panties like I require and I will finally take over the world!" They then laughed maniacally.

_**DAY 2- LEXAEUS'S BIRTHDAY**_

Lexaeus was going to have a birthday, but his name was so hard to spell that he blew up and got eaten by a roasted pig.

_**DAY 3- ZEXION'S WEDDING**_

No one saw this day coming. Zexion was getting married to none other than…… Namine! He was gonna give his heart to her, if he had one. But some nobodies didn't like this one bit.

"What's the plan?" asked Roxas. "I say we kill Zexion!" shouted Lexaeus. "I thought you were gay." said Vexen. "Shut up!" "How about Lexaeus comes and beats Zexion up, and I come and save Namine. It's got to work!" shouted Roxas. "Okay!" said Vexen.

An hour later, the wedding started. "Hey ya'll, I'm John Cena, and I'm the guy who tells the people if they're married or not. Now, may the groom and bride come out now!" said John Cena. All of a sudden, Sora, Riku, and Kairi came in. "Hey yo' mamas, raise yo' hands cause Sora's in da house!" Yelled Sora. "Sora, I'm pregnant." said Riku. Riku's water then broke and Stickyx carried him to an ambulance. "Weird, hey Kairi, do you want to be pregnant?" asked Sora. "Hell yeah, this ceremony is making me horny!" They then walked behind the desk that holds the bible and moans could be heard throughout the church. "Okay………. who wants to hear me make fart noises with my armpits?" shouted John Cena. He then made inappropriate noises with his armpits. Zexion and Namine then entered the church. Okay, like, do you, Zexion, take Namine as your lawfully wedded wife?" asked John Cena. "Do I take her as a WHAT?" asked Zexion. "Do you want it to be legal that you force her to have sex without her being your concubine?" screamed John Cena. "Of course!" "Okay, and do you, Namine, take Zexion as your lawfully wedded husband?" Before she could answer, Lexaeus jumped from the sky, slammed into the ground, squeezed out an air- piercing fart, and attacked Zexion. Namine started screaming. Out of nowhere, Roxas fell from the sky, hurt his ankle, said "Shit!" in as many languages he could, and grabbed Namine. "I shall save you!" he yelled as he kicked Lexaeus. Lexaeus then died. Everyone then stared at the two dead bodies on the floor; Zexion and Lexaeus. Roxas ran away, still carrying Namine. A fat guy in the crowd stood up. "Does this mean that there's no cake?" he asked.

"What the hell happened?" Namine screamed at Roxas. "Why were you marrying him?" asked Roxas. "Because, he's not an idiot like you, he's safe and caring, and you're gay for Axel." "Hey, it's not my fault that he had a baby because my semen flew into his ass!" "What was your semen doing IN HIS ASS?" "Hey, it was a long winter." Roxas then heard a scream. "Be right back!" he said. He put Namine down and ran to the 14th floor of Castle Oblivion. He opened a door and saw a guy with bloody horseshoes standing over Xemnas. "Who are you?" asked Roxas. "I will be a member of this Organization, or MY member will be down your commander's bleeding THROAT!" the guy said. He then disappeared. Xemnas ran away, crying, and Vexen poofed into the room. "Hey Roxas, why did you place Namine at the edge of the cliff?" he said. "I did WHAT?" Roxas screamed. He then jumped out of the window. "FOURTEENTH FLOOR!" Vexen screamed at Roxas. "Hingerdinger…. AHH!" Roxas screamed.

Roxas ran towards the cliff in back of Castle Oblivion. He saw Namine hanging on for her life. If she fell, she would have to be melted in lava and eaten my rabid Snarklebeasts. "Hang on!" Roxas shouted. "Why can't I marry someone other than you or Vexen; I heard Stickyx was sexy." "Because then we can't have sex with you!" "You cancelled my wedding just so you could HAVE SEX WITH ME?" "Yeah, and is it working?" "You're impossible." Namine then jumped into the lava. "Crap, oh well, time to call all the babes for a little _party_ in a Jacuzzi while skinny-dipping." Roxas then called Fuu, who was conveniently having sex with Olette.

**_DAY 4- LUXORD FICTION- EPISODE 1_**

Luxord walked into the basement of Castle Oblivion. Stickyx told him that Xemnas and Marluxia were creating a strange machine. And Stickyx was right. Xemnas and Marluxia were talking about the machine. Little did Luxord know, his random life would never be the same again, but even more random. Here's what happened…. IN SONG!

**LUXORD FICTION THEME SONG……**

Yo, Luxord Fiction, he was just 30, when his leaders built a very strange machine.

It was designed to view a world unseen. (_Gonna catch them all cause he's Luxord Fiction)_

When it didn't quite work, his leaders just quit, and Luxord took a look inside of it.

There was a great big flash and everything just changed.

His molecules got all rearranged. _(He's Fanfiction, Fanfiction.)_

When he first woke up, he didn't realize

He had charcoal-black hair and glowing red eyes.

He could write on walls, eat a pear, and fly.

He was much more unique than the dragoon guys.

It was then that he knew what he had to do.

He had to stop the fanfics that were coming through.

He's here to fight for Xaldin too!

_Gonna catch em' all cause he's Luxord Fiction_

_Gonna catch em' all cause he's Luxord Fiction_

_Gonna catch em' all cause he's…… Luxord Fiction!_

Luxord walked into the portal. It looked like a computer screen. He saw an arrow pointing at the word 'Games'. Luxord looked up and saw the words 'Fanfiction-unleash your imagination and free your **soul**.' The arrow clicked on the word 'Games' and a different screen popped up. The arrow then clicked on the word 'Kingdom Hearts- (11600)'. A new screen popped up again. The arrow went to a search bar and changed character 1 to Namine, the rating to all, the category to Romance, and character 2 to Roxas. A page opened up to reveal no search results.Luxord touched the word 'results' and a ball of light appeared. It quickly flew away."What the hell, there was a bunch of stories under this search yesterday!" Luxord heard. He looked up into the sky and saw a kid using the computer. "Who are you?" Luxord shouted. "What the hell, Justin, come here, The Computers TALKING!" Another kid then appeared. "Whoa, it must be a virus, click the X button above his head." "Ahh!" Luxord then went back to the homepage and left the portal. "I'm never going back there again, but I should tell Xaldin about this." Luxord thought aloud. He then went upstairs, not knowing that a very evil group of people emerged.

_**DAY 5- DO YOU THINK MILKSHAKES ARE NICE?**_

Namine walked to the white room to go to sleep. It was the middle of the night. "Hi Namine, what's the password?" asked the White Room. "Uh, piemonsters like pie." "Correct! Please enter before I have to call the Snarklebeasts!" The door swung open. "Oh, Namine, one more thing, Xemnas commanded you to have sex with Stickyx 5 times." "WHY?" "You know the rule, if an Organization member doesn't have sex with Namine 5 times, they're not a member." "I don't remember that!" "That's because the person who took your virginity bashed you on the head with Axel's cat." "Ew, does that mean Xemnas took my virginity?" "No, Fuu and Olette did." "WHAT?" "Yeah, it was cool, I got it on DVD, wanna see?" Namine then ran into the white room. "I'll show it to Roxas, I'm sure he'll love it!" the white room called. He then fell asleep. Namine walked to her bed, only to find someone laying on it. "Roxas, is that you? I already told you, we'll have sex in the Jacuzzi _later._" The person spoke up. "How dare you insult me by calling me ROXAS! So, he's not in the hospital in this world." "Who are you?" "Just call me Crian. I have to disguise my name as long as I'm not in the alternate high school universes." "Why are you here if you're from an alternate universe?" "Listen Namine, we may have just met but you're pretty much the same as the other world version of you, except for a different fashion sense. Will you……. go to the prom with me?" "I'm sorry…… Crian… but I'm going to a dance with Roxas." "So, I must cross this path again. Fine, but I'll be seeing you pretty soon." Crian then jumped out of the window. "THIRTEENTH FLOOR!" Namine shouted to him. He crashed on the ground and ran away.

_**DAY 6- THE PROM THINGY (THE RIPOFFS BEGIN)**_

"Hey Luxord." "Yeah Xaldin." "When you went into the portal, did you see anything suspicious?" "Yeah, besides the arrow, there were no fanfictions about Namine and Roxas." "Crap, this isn't good." "What isn't good?" "Maybe, when the portal opened, all the fanfics escaped!" "What's bad about that?" "Don't you realize it, if the fanfictions escaped, and they give to much information about their origins, we could get sued from ripping them off." "Crap! I only have 8 thousand million dollars!" "Wait, is there a prom tonight?" "Yeah, why?" "Most alternate universes have proms. There must be a bunch of characters there!" "Yeah, let's go, but first, we make a company." "YEAH!"

**_THE FANFICTION POLICE- ENSURING YOUR HARD-THOUGHT FANFICTIONS AREN'T BEING CHEAPLY RIPPED OFF, OR WE GET SUED BY THE STATE OF LAW!_**

At The Prom Homecoming……

Axel and Roxas were sitting on the chairs. "Hey Axel, why are we having a homecoming prom?" "Because, Castle Oblivion is going to be a school." "Crap that sucks." "Yep." "Hey, where's Namine." "I think she's by the punch." "Okay." Roxas walked to the punch table, where he found Namine. "Hi Roxas." She smiled at him. "Hi Namine, do you want to dance?" "I'd love to." Roxas and Namine started to dance. After ten minutes, Roxas went to the bathroom stall. Meanwhile, Xaldin and Luxord searched the dance floor. "Nope, no fanfics over here." said Luxord. "Let's look in the closet." said Xaldin. Luxord opened the closet door and saw Fuu licking Olette's clit. They immediately took notice. "Uh, we can explain." said a nervous Olette. Luxord shut the closet door and heard the moans continue from the room. He ran to Xaldin only to find him knocked out. "Xaldin, what happened?" "Oh Luxord, it was terrible, not only have fanfictions been released, but they're trying to turn us into fanfictions!" "Aren't we technically fanfictions?" "Yes, but we're not fanfics in our point of view." "What do we do?" "Uh, I have an idea!" Xaldin then dropped onto the ground and lifted his arms and legs up while saying "Photosynthesis" repeatedly.

Meanwhile, Roxas went to the second stall, heard a growling noise, ate some magic tuna that came from the toilet, and pulled down his pants and started to pee, only to find that a Jawa was using it and got pissed on. The Jawa shot Roxas where the sun don't shine and blew up by the purple invisible elephant. Roxas then walked to the sink. As he washed his hands, he heard a stall creak open. Standing there was a kid with a clenched fist. "Who are you?" asked Roxas. "My name's Crian, you fucker." "That's not a nice thing to say!" "Give me my girlfriend." "Who is that?" "Namine you ass!" "Does she even know you?" "She does where I'm from, so if she won't love me in my universe, she'll have to love me in this universe." "She's mine, along with the other girls who have sex with me, but they're just for fun." "You are a major slut you FUCKER." Crian then ran towards Roxas to smash his head into the mirror, but Roxas ran to the door. When he opened it, he saw a boy in a black dress and a girl that looked suspiciously like him. They grabbed Roxas and dragged him back to Crian. "Excellent work Naminoy and Roxies, you have learned well, being original characters and all." Crian told them. The boy in the black dress then walked to Roxas. "Where'd ya' put Snarkle, you donkey-porker?" he asked in a viciously angry tone. "What the hell are you talking about, and who are you and who's Snarkle?" Roxas asked. "I'm Naminoy, and you sure as hell know Snarkle." "No I DON'T!" "Yes!" "NO!" "YES!" Before Roxas could reply, Crian started to choke Roxas and tossed him towards the mirror. To Crian's surprise, Roxas ducked and karate chopped Naminoy. Roxies lunged towards Roxas and they broke out into a wrestling match. Crian watched in utter confusion since he didn't expect Roxas to miss hitting the mirror.

The fighting was brutal. Roxies pulled Roxas' hair, Roxas punched her in the gut, she tickled his penis for a short while and then painfully bit it, and they farted at each other. At the end of the fight, though, only one person made it. And that one person was Vivi. Roxas and Roxies were blown up by Xaldin because he thought they were ripping off a fanfiction, and Crian danced with Namine as the two blond-haired kids fought. So in conclusion, life sucks when you're a member of your own universe, but ball biting can make all the difference in creating the stigma of time as a new origin of humanity.

_**THE LIVES OF ORGANIZATION XIII-** TO BE CONTINUED, BUT FOR_ _NOW………_

**TIME FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!**

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**MEANWHILE IN CHAIN OF MEMORIES…….**

All the nobodies in Castle Oblivion were still having their wine drinking party when someone upstairs woke up. Larxene was the first to notice. As she swallowed her 87th glass of wine, she heard light footsteps walking from floor 13. She knew it was Namine's because she had hot and brutal sex with her many times before, so she knew what the footsteps sounded like for some reason. And Namine was a tattle-tale. If she found out about this party on the first floor, she would tell DIZ, and then the word would get to Xemnas, and then Xemnas would know that the nobodies in Castle Oblivion were traitors, and then they would all be turned into dusks, and they would have to be Roxas' children for some reason! And that was a fate worse then having to play go fish with a drunken Luxord. "Uh, guys, we should stop the party before we get into trouble!" Larxene tried to tell everybody. But they didn't listen. "Heyyyyyyy ya' babecakes! Why doncha show us some skin!" said a drunken Axel. He spoke with terrible grammar. Before Larxene could respond, she felt her cloak slip off, revealing her bra and her thong. Zexion slipped them off. She was surrounded by Axel and Zexion, who were stripping. She couldn't resist; her dream was to always have sex with Axel and Zexion at the same time, and she always liked having sex with Namine, but this was different. Larxene led both of them to the closest bed…

**_WHEN CONTINUED, THERE WILL BE A LEMON! You have been warned._**

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Demyx and Saix went to their dreadnought ship. They decided to go to Radiant Garden to find what cheese was made out of. As soon as the ship took off, Saix fell out of the ship, got abducted by an alien ship, frightened a giant eyeball controlling the ship, and got kicked out back into the dreadnought. The ship was about to land in Radiant Garden, but Demyx farted which turned a lever causing the ship to go into hyper speed. It blew up Radiant Garden to smithereens and flew to a world far away. The ship crashed onto the land and exploded as soon as they stepped off. They were in a small village. "Where are we?" asked Demyx. "I don't know, but there's a chicken; I hate chickens!" said Saix. He then repeatedly kicked a chicken until he heard a large amount of clucking. He looked in the sky and saw tons of angry chickens flying towards him. "AHHHHH!" screamed Saix as they attacked him. Demyx then saw an old lady calling guards to capture a boy in all green. The boy used a sword to kill all the guards and then barged into an opened door. "Why does this place remind me of Super Nintendo?" Demyx asked himself. He asked nearby villagers where he was, but they didn't answer. He then saw a sign saying 'Welcome To Hyrule!' "Ah crap." Demyx said flatly.

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"Welcome to 'Dr. Nobody'. Today, we talk to a couple original characters about their take on life. Now, welcome your host, Dr. Nobody!" A huge dusk then walked onto the stage. "Hello, I'm Dr. Nobody, and welcome to my show!" he said in a squeaky voice. "Now, for our first guest, let's talk to the one but hardly only original character, MAJ!" The crowd cheered as a girl walked onto the stage. She looked exactly like Fuu, except she had all orange clothes and orange hair. "Hello Maj, now what do you do in your spare time?" Dr. Nobody asked. "I have sex with sexy boys, but I'm really fond of women like Namine, Kairi, and Roxies. They're fighters!" she yelled. "Ah yes, but in a different question, do you feel unused by your creator?" "I sure do. I only appeared in chapter 2 of this story, and I didn't even do anything! I was only one of the girls Sora had sex with that wasn't Kairi. Did you hear me speak? CAUSE I DIDN'T!" "Okay, well, I'll come back to you. Now let's speak with Snarkle the Snarklebeast!" A 6- foot tall Snarklebeast walked onto the stage. "Hello Snarkle!" "HOGWASH!" "Sure, now I understand you wrote the bestselling book 'So You Got Yourself a Keyblade.' Correct?" "HOGWASH!" "Uh, different question. Do you feel underused?" "HOGWASH!" "Okay, that's enough of you, now let's talk to Naminoy!" Naminoy then walked onto the stage. "Howdy dusk." "My name's Dr. Nobody!" "Whatever." "Ok, do you have something to complain about your creators?" "Yeah, just look at me. I'm a replica of a blond witch from a different universe. Why'd I have to be a guy replica of a _girl_? And, to make matters worse, I'm wearing a freaking black dress." "Why is this so bad?" "WHY? Just look at me. I look like I'm dead and I dress like a homo." "And what does this mean?" "I MUST BE EMO!" Naminoy then jumped up and started to sing 'The Emo Song.' "Well, that's all the time we have today. Tune in tomorrow for our episode titled 'I woke up with my grandmother naked- Hayner's story. Well, see you again; I'm off to rethink my life as I slit my wrists with a keyblade. BYE BYE!" The show then ended.

**_SUPER RANDOM HALF-TIME SHOW! THOUGH IT'S AT THE END!_**

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps to-…" Jack Sparrow blew up the world with a very sharpened pencil.

Organization XIII met in the locker room that never was. "Okay boys, we're gonna take down those _somebodies. _Understand?" Xemnas told his team. "Yeah, down with those heart- people!" the team shouted. MEANWHILE…..

"ESW! ESW!" shouted the team of somebodies. "Okay boys, let's murder these nobodies! This is for Even Somebodies Wrestle!" shouted Riku to his team. "YEAH. ESW! ESW!"

The wrestling match was underway for 30 minutes. To be eliminated, you had to be thrown over the top rope. Close to the end, only Roxas, Namine, and Larxene were left on the Organization side, while only Riku was left on his side. Larxene charged towards Riku, but he countered and threw her over the rope. Riku was so relieved that he didn't notice that Namine charged towards him. He fell over the rope. The organization had the match won, until Roxas ripped off his shirt which revealed a new one that said 'ESW'. He dashed towards Namine and threw her over the top rope. Roxas had crossed over to the heart side. And this is truly how Roxas betrayed the Organization. Well, now that you heard this, review and GET THE FUCK AWAY UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER COMES, WHICH COULD BE ANYTIME. NEXT CHAPTER IS PART 2 OF THIS! NOW, GET OUT! GET OUT! GET…… OUT!

We think the point has been made. Now, do what the narrator told you to, or else the calico-colored guinea pig will eat your other leg. He already has the first one, you just don't know it yet………

**_"THE END!"_** shouted Piemonster13 as he was devoured by Snarklebeasts.


End file.
